February 5th, 2004


What a bunch of ...

I was prepared never to mention The Superbowl Nipple again, but the media, the FCC, Janet Jackson, Justin Timberlake won't SHUT THE FUCK UP so here goes:

Is it stating the obvious to say that breasts are not a big deal? I'm as big a fan as anyone in the proper context, but seeing a NIPPLE for ONE SECOND seems to have PERMANENTLY TRAUMATIZED America. Has no one here ever SEEN A NIPPLE BEFORE? An overwhelming majority of people HAVE AT LEAST TWO NIPPLES. To accidentally see one for one second? It's like walking in on someone in the bathroom by accident. It's not even remotely sexy!

To the braying jackasses at the FCC -- SHUT THE FUCK UP, NO ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND CARES. Go solve a real problem, like Clear Channel pouring poison into the nation's ears.

When I was 13 or 14, I was staying with my Aunt Cheryl, who was nursing my cousin Matthew. The family slang at that point for breasts was 'nursers.' Cheryl and her sisters were a fecund lot, so sometime two or three would be hanging out together with their babies, and whipping out the nursers for the baby was not an uncommon thing. That's when I became acquainted with the sight of women's nipples, and learned that something so commonplace is not that exciting. Apparently a lot of people never learned that lesson. Sheesh.