October 22nd, 2007


I've been mostly silent about the Presidential Election ...

... because it's too early in the process for me to give a shit. This election cycle started so early the candidates are probably sick of themselves already. I'm making a point of ignoring them as much as is humanly possible so that I will have some patience left in the weeks before the caucus to pay attention.

But occasionally, an event in the process comes along that I simply can't ignore: Chuck Norris has endorsed Mike Huckabee.

The TPM article has the best headline on the subject "CHUCK NORRIS ISN'T ENDORSING HUCKABEE, HE'S APPOINTING HIM."

I know that all the Chuck Norris Internet Meme stuff is so three months ago, but I thought Chuck was the King of Awesome way before that. What's not awesome about a martial-arts-centric actor who looks like a 70's porn actor past his prime? What's not awesome about being the star of possibly the dumbest cop show ever, and yet delivering every line as if the future of the universe depended on it? Chuck Norris is awesome, with a side of awesome.

On a more serious note, Mike Huckabee is someone I wouldn't feel completely awful about if he became President. As Republican Governors go, he's the cream of the crop, and he's a lot more of an on-the-level, decent, Main Street Republican than anyone else in the race. I disagree with him on most issues, but at least he seems to have some actual conviction, instead of crypto-fascist greed for power.

Romney is an empty suit, whose campaign ads are creepy, nihilistic pandering to the worst impulses of the Republican base. Giuliani is a hateful, unprincipled scammer, who ghoulishly exploits 9/11 at every turn. McCain sold out entirely to Bush in 2004. The rest of the field is irrelevant -- I can't even name them all, except Brownbeck -- because he just quit, Tancredo -- who's a racist scumbag of the first water, and Ron Paul -- who seems to be the bastard love child of Ayn Rand and Noam Chomsky.

Actually in a perfect world, the general election would be a Mike Gravel/Ron Paul match-up. Crabby old geezer deathmatch!