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Madonna and Child [Oct. 24th, 2006|11:43 pm]
Okrzyki, przyjaciel!
Mostly for elkay.

The first thoughtful article I've seen about Madge's Malawi adoption. (On Salon, so you have to watch an ad)

"You don't have to explain yourself when you plan your biological family; you shouldn't have to justify your decision to adopt, and certainly not to strangers, no matter what tangles you encounter."

Adoption is just like any other sort of parenting -- probably 1/3 of the time it turns out great, 1/3 it's a mixed blessing, and 1/3 it's a total fucking disaster. Which, if you think about it, is about the same proportions as you encounter with biological families. But I love my cousins, and I love my friends who were adopted from overseas -- they're proof that good can come of it.

The biological component of parenting is in my opinion really overrated. Anyone fertile can make a zygote. Getting up in the middle of night to clean up a bedful of puke -- or worse -- and spending hours rocking a sick child when you have to get up for work, that makes you a parent. Among many other things.

And I know it matters deeply to some people, who really feel anguished if they can't bear their own children. I don't judge them; I don't know what I'd feel like if I was in their situation. But there are many children who need homes, desperately, everywhere. In a just world, they'd be first in line for loving parents, ahead of all the hypothetical babies people might have. Hey, first come, first served.

From: elkay
2006-10-25 10:25 am (UTC)
This one rocks the house as well:

"I'm at a loss as to how to point out to someone, with any politeness, that adopted children aren't second best. I don't know how to tell people what it feels like to see the cover of GQ magazine tout the "impending fatherhood" of Tom Cruise when he's been a father to two adopted children for more than a decade. Or, when yet another person declares that adopted children must be lucky, how to explain that as adoptive parents, we see ourselves as the lucky ones, not the other way around."
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