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Madonna and Child [Oct. 24th, 2006|11:43 pm]
Okrzyki, przyjaciel!
Mostly for elkay.

The first thoughtful article I've seen about Madge's Malawi adoption. (On Salon, so you have to watch an ad)

"You don't have to explain yourself when you plan your biological family; you shouldn't have to justify your decision to adopt, and certainly not to strangers, no matter what tangles you encounter."

Adoption is just like any other sort of parenting -- probably 1/3 of the time it turns out great, 1/3 it's a mixed blessing, and 1/3 it's a total fucking disaster. Which, if you think about it, is about the same proportions as you encounter with biological families. But I love my cousins, and I love my friends who were adopted from overseas -- they're proof that good can come of it.

The biological component of parenting is in my opinion really overrated. Anyone fertile can make a zygote. Getting up in the middle of night to clean up a bedful of puke -- or worse -- and spending hours rocking a sick child when you have to get up for work, that makes you a parent. Among many other things.

And I know it matters deeply to some people, who really feel anguished if they can't bear their own children. I don't judge them; I don't know what I'd feel like if I was in their situation. But there are many children who need homes, desperately, everywhere. In a just world, they'd be first in line for loving parents, ahead of all the hypothetical babies people might have. Hey, first come, first served.

[User Picture]From: dooriya
2006-10-25 04:28 pm (UTC)
"The biological component of parenting is in my opinion really overrated."

Yeah. I don't know how my birth parents would have raised me, but I'm really glad I had my adoptive ones. I think they did as best a job as anyone could have, if not more since they were fueled by the desire to have a child so badly. They spent 3 years trying to adopt, and had one mishap where the mother took the baby back after she gave birth to it. It's a terribly strange situation, but it worked out in the best way for everyone. (except maybe my birth father who is a pretty cool guy and would have kept me had my mother not have flipped out and disappeared.)
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[User Picture]From: chaircrusher
2006-10-27 03:08 pm (UTC)
I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothing, but judging from the results, your adoptive parents rule.
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