So my man Coolzey came over and I deferred to his skills in the building trade to replace the seal, yet again.
Then when I got back from Xmas, the first time I sat down on it, the base of the toilet cracked. Yeah, yeah, laugh while you can, bitches. It was not my substantial weight that broke it -- either I've had it up off the floor too many times and it was weakened, or Coolzey cinched down the anchor bolts too tight.
So yesterday I bought a new toilet, and carefully installed it according to the instructions. This went smoothly, probably because I've been more toilet wrestling than most people. I have made every possible mistake along the way. Hot tip: it's way easier to mount the pedestal and wax seal assembly before you bolt on the tank. And it's easier to mount the tank on a well anchored pedestal.
Anyway the topic of this post came from this realization I had this afternoon: I've been rubbing a tender spot on my forehead all day, and I just realized where it came from. In the process of installing the new toilet seat the seat fell down and bonked me on the forehead.
So I think my next step vis a vis the downstairs toilet is a full-on exorcism because that fucker is out to kill me.